the pharisee within me

'When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two people owed money to a certain money lender. One owe him five hundred denarii,[c] and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
"You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Every time I read this passage, it deeply touches my heart.
I relate so much to the Pharisee in this passage.
So many times I've been so wrapped up in legalism that I miss the sins I am committing right in front of my face. I pray that we don’t let the lie that we tell ourselves, that we are somehow better or more worthy than others for any reason, keep us from seeing our own sin. I pray that we don’t categorize ourselves differently than other sinners and let that keep us from ministering to them and loving them because Jesus loved and ministered to everyone. Jesus loved us and died to save us while we were just terrible broken sinners, and He gave us a new life, name, identity, purpose, and freedom. The message of the gospel is that no one is too far gone to be loved, valued, and saved by Christ's love.
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. Through comparison and pride, I forget I'm a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:11-15
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. It’s like forgetting you’re a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the [one and only] Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:11-155w