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THE BLOG |
Join me today, with my guest Kylee logan, as we ask the question: are women as equally necessary to ministry as men?Find kylee on instagram:
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| Esther Bible Study |
need extra note pages? download here:
| Esther Note Pages |
Our God is the God of such great love, mercy, grace, and kindness that He chooses to redeem us; not just from sin. God also redeems our pains, our hurts, and our brokenness to glorify Himself.
Download this image for free
| redeem.jpg |
'When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two people owed money to a certain money lender. One owe him five hundred denarii,[c] and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
"You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Every time I read this passage, it deeply touches my heart.
I relate so much to the Pharisee in this passage.
So many times I've been so wrapped up in legalism that I miss the sins I am committing right in front of my face. I pray that we don’t let the lie that we tell ourselves, that we are somehow better or more worthy than others for any reason, keep us from seeing our own sin. I pray that we don’t categorize ourselves differently than other sinners and let that keep us from ministering to them and loving them because Jesus loved and ministered to everyone. Jesus loved us and died to save us while we were just terrible broken sinners, and He gave us a new life, name, identity, purpose, and freedom. The message of the gospel is that no one is too far gone to be loved, valued, and saved by Christ's love.
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. Through comparison and pride, I forget I'm a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
1 John 4:11-15
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. It’s like forgetting you’re a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the [one and only] Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
1 John 4:11-155w
I relate so much to the Pharisee in this passage.
So many times I've been so wrapped up in legalism that I miss the sins I am committing right in front of my face. I pray that we don’t let the lie that we tell ourselves, that we are somehow better or more worthy than others for any reason, keep us from seeing our own sin. I pray that we don’t categorize ourselves differently than other sinners and let that keep us from ministering to them and loving them because Jesus loved and ministered to everyone. Jesus loved us and died to save us while we were just terrible broken sinners, and He gave us a new life, name, identity, purpose, and freedom. The message of the gospel is that no one is too far gone to be loved, valued, and saved by Christ's love.
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. Through comparison and pride, I forget I'm a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
1 John 4:11-15
I think sometimes we make the great mistake of thinking that because we are calling out injustice, and because we are not engaging in the acts of the unjust groups we are calling out, we are immune to sin. We should always, always, always stand up for the oppressed, share the gospel, and defend those who need defending, and we are called to do it peacefully in love. However, we are never immune to our own wrong doings. Sometimes I find myself down the dangerous path of almost forgetting that I need to be watchful, cautious, and working against my own sinful nature. It’s like forgetting you’re a sinful person who needs God’s strength and help and needs his grace just as much as everyone else. When we start to separate other people from ourselves, when we think they are somehow “worse sinners” than us or unlovable because of some affiliation, action, or choice, we lose the ability to minister to them. And how can someone have a real heart transformation without Jesus and being loved on and ministered to as Jesus would do that? We are all sinners, and if we’ve accepted Christ’s free gift of salvation, we are saved, freed, and forgiven. Our job isn’t to do the separating of who’s lovable or not to God, it’s to love our enemies, pray for them, and share the gospel in word and action.
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the [one and only] Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”
1 John 4:11-155w
I love podcasts. Love. Love, love. My sister gave me air-pods for Christmas and I pretty much have one in my ear and listen to some kind of podcast or audiobook for 5-6 hours a day when I work. [to my boss: don't worry I promise it increases my productivity]
These are my top 8 favorite podcasts to tune into this year:
[Click on the photo for the link]
Please note, this article was originally written by Carlie Tice Cleveland for Iridescent Women's website: https://iridescentwomen.com/
These are my top 8 favorite podcasts to tune into this year:
[Click on the photo for the link]
Please note, this article was originally written by Carlie Tice Cleveland for Iridescent Women's website: https://iridescentwomen.com/
the happy hour with jamie ivey
If you've read any of my Friday Gems or favorite things posts, you know I super dig this podcast. The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey is an uplifting and fun podcast that often digs deep. Jamie Ivey hosts the Happy Hour and interviews authors, actors, Jesus loving people serving their communities, well known Bible teachers, etc. It feels like listening to a great conversation with your girlfriends, and is genuine and honest.
Equip and Empower with Christine Caine
Christine Caine is the founder of A21, a global anti-human trafficking organization, and Propel Women. She is self described as a “Holy Ghost Assassin”, and she consistently brings compelling, encouraging, doctrinally sound, Biblical truth in her messages.
The Love thy Neighborhood Podcast
Love thy Neighborhood is a completely fascinating, eye opening, and compelling podcast that dares to dig deep into cultural and social issues like abortion, racial reconciliation, sex work, etc. that are often controversial within the Christian community. They do an excellent job of interviewing Christians on both sides of the issues [as well as doctors, professors, professionals, etc.] and take a non-partisan, unbiased look into what we believe and why we believe it.
The Good Life with Stevie and Sazan
The Good Life is an encouraging podcast that is so much fun. Stevie and wife Sazan, who are known for social media influencing, vlogging, and their honest and hilarious Instagram videos, host this entertaining and touching podcast that talks about life, faith, family, and being a light for the Lord. It’s authentic, sweet, and enjoyable.
unbelievable
Unbelievable? Is hosted by highly educated apologist Justin Brierly who facilitates immensely captivating conversations and debates amongst some of the brightest minds in their fields.
Generally a controversial Christian topic is chosen [such as evolution, gay marriage in the Church, the validity of scripture, etc.] and two or more guests are chosen, on each side of the issue, to talk about their perspectives and beliefs.
Sometimes Justin invites two Christians on different sides of an issue, a Christian and atheist, or a Christian and someone of another belief system [etc.] and it is always an eye-opening and educational hour.
Generally a controversial Christian topic is chosen [such as evolution, gay marriage in the Church, the validity of scripture, etc.] and two or more guests are chosen, on each side of the issue, to talk about their perspectives and beliefs.
Sometimes Justin invites two Christians on different sides of an issue, a Christian and atheist, or a Christian and someone of another belief system [etc.] and it is always an eye-opening and educational hour.
Living proof ministries: Beth Moore
If you’ve never been able to attend a Beth Moore Living Proof Love event, great news! This podcast is a recording of the sessions from Beth’s live ministry events, and is nothing short of encouraging and Word-filled.
leadership lean-in with chad veach
Chad Veach is a pastor and motivational speaker, and uses this podcast to share some practical leadership skills that can be applied in and out of ministry. On some episodes, Chad interviews Christian and secular leaders/influencers to share their wisdom and advice. This is a great podcast to keep in your learning toolbox!
cleaning up the mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Dr. Caroline leaf is a Christian author, cognitive neuroscientist, and mental health expert. This podcast is a very intriguing look into practical ways, backed by science and biology from Dr. Leaf and other health experts, to improve your mental, physical, and spiritual health.
"You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."
1 Peter 3:4
It’s not a cheap cop-out. The God of the universe created you and designed you in His image [Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139:13; Job 10:10] Before you click on another post because you think you've heard this one before, stick with me for a minute.
The lips you think are too small, the forehead you think is too wrinkly, the acne scars that you’re buying serum for: the world is constantly trying to get us to obsess over them. Instagram says you need a filter, your pores are too big, your hair need extensions, and you need to erase your wrinkles with that free editing app. Obsession with how we look is exactly what Satan needs to keep you from focusing on your God given call in life, your identity in Christ, and your purpose on earth.
So often I hear that verse [1 Peter 3:4] being used as a chastisement, that I forget it's also an encouragement: you are free from being a slave to your physical appearance!
There is absolutely no shame here in taking care of your appearance, having a 7 step skin care routine, or getting cosmetic procedures. You’re reading from a woman who gets Botox on a regular basis, has had filler, wore bad extensions for far too long, and has tried it all. The problem is not with doing things to enhance our natural beauty, girl fill your lips if you want to fill your lips! Taking care of the body that God has given you is taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit God has made us [1 Corinthians 16:9].
You should definitely invest in your health, your body, and use your appearance as a tool to tell the world who you are [a strong, smart, godly, woman]. The problem is in thinking we need procedures, products, and knock off Bottega Veneta sandals to be beautiful. [Speaking from years of experience] The problem is when we have debilitating anxiety about not wearing makeup or someone posting a bad picture of us on Instagram. The problem is thinking we need filler, Botox, or extensions to be beautiful, and if we don’t get those things, we think we are ugly and will obsess over those “flaws” until we take care of them. The problem is letting the way we look, and taking perfect shots of our cute outfit for our next post, drive the direction of our lives. The problem is being a slave to how your face and or body look. Satan doesn’t even have to try that hard to derail us when those things take over our priorities, self worth, and life’s destiny, we are doing the work for him!
Your identity is in Christ [Romans 6:7-11; 1 John 5:1].
Your value is in Christ [Matthew 10:29-31].
God made you wonderfully [Psalm 139:14] .
Choosing to invest in the beauty of your spirit is what is going to help enhance your beauty.
Let’s be really honest, you’re probably going to get old. If we live long enough, we are all going to get old. No matter how much preventative Botox you get, no matter how many chin lifts you have, no matter how many face masks you do, if you live a long life you will get wrinkles, your hair will probably gray, and your skin will sag. That’s how life is. It’ll happen. And that's not to say that elderly people aren’t beautiful, but the things you’re letting control your mind, schedule, and finances are going to change with time. And I know someone is reading this thinking , “Yeah I’m going to get old, so I should spend my time looking hot now! If I’m going to get wrinkles I should take all the photos of my beautiful collagen while I still have it!” And let me say, you do you honey bunch! Take photos, admire what beauty God has given you if that's what you want to do! You are your own woman with your own life. But if you let it drive your whole life, then your mind, your thoughts, your quality of life, and the beauty of your spirit will suffer. You will become a slave to a thing that has no eternal weight or value. When the gray hair and wrinkles come, there won’t be a beauty of your spirit.
The choices you make now, the things you practice each day, will change the course of your life, good or bad. If you are creating habits to invest in God’s calling on your life and the unfading beauty of your spirit, then you are setting up your future self to do the same. Likewise, if you are focusing only on your face and your waistline, you are making decisions to set up your future that way. Don’t get me wrong, you can break those habits. I was deep into obsession with vanity, and it took years, actual years, to break those deep habits. I did it by God’s strength and the guidance of the Holy Spirit alone, and sometimes I still struggle, but I wasted years of my life spending all of my time and thoughts worrying about how many people actually liked my Instagram photo and thought my glow up was good.
Let’s take a second to dig into 1 Peter 3:4: “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God...”
In context, Peter was writing to Christians who were all around Pontus, Galatia, Asia, Bithynia, and Cappadocia, which were regions of what was then Asia Minor [now Turkey]. In 1 Peter 3, Peter addresses women and directs them to lead people to Christ with their conduct and actions instead of sexually seducing/manipulating people with their sexuality or appearance into doing what they want. The last part of that verse is applicable to wives, "and [they] accepted the authority of their husbands." I read the word quiet and thought “oh boy, it all goes down here" because I might be gentle, but I am definitely not quiet. But it’s important to understand the etymology of the word “quiet” in this passage.
1 Peter is written in Greek, and the Greek word used in this passage is “ἡσύχιος” [“hēsýxios”]. HELPS Word Studies explains the definition as
"("calmly quiet") describes being "appropriately tranquil" by not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).”
This word is used twice in the Bible. The other place it is used is 1 Timothy
2:1-2 “I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.”
We can see in these passages that “quiet” doesn’t mean a woman who keeps her mouth shut and is audibly not loud. This is a woman who is “not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).”
A woman who isn’t tearing down others, isn’t stirring up needless conflict, and is keeping away from starting destructive commotions.
That means you can be a godly woman with a voice, an opinion, and it’s okay if you talk loud [truly great news for me, halleluiah Lord Jesus].
So, if we understand this, we can understand that investing in your spiritual beauty means investing time, thoughts, and energy into becoming a woman who does not start fights, refrains from gossip, steers clear from nonsensical drama, and doesn’t stir the pot for no reason. Not only should we stay away from those toxic behaviors, investing in the beauty of our spirit means becoming the antonym of that.
We have to also invest into being women who
who:
The lips you think are too small, the forehead you think is too wrinkly, the acne scars that you’re buying serum for: the world is constantly trying to get us to obsess over them. Instagram says you need a filter, your pores are too big, your hair need extensions, and you need to erase your wrinkles with that free editing app. Obsession with how we look is exactly what Satan needs to keep you from focusing on your God given call in life, your identity in Christ, and your purpose on earth.
So often I hear that verse [1 Peter 3:4] being used as a chastisement, that I forget it's also an encouragement: you are free from being a slave to your physical appearance!
There is absolutely no shame here in taking care of your appearance, having a 7 step skin care routine, or getting cosmetic procedures. You’re reading from a woman who gets Botox on a regular basis, has had filler, wore bad extensions for far too long, and has tried it all. The problem is not with doing things to enhance our natural beauty, girl fill your lips if you want to fill your lips! Taking care of the body that God has given you is taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit God has made us [1 Corinthians 16:9].
You should definitely invest in your health, your body, and use your appearance as a tool to tell the world who you are [a strong, smart, godly, woman]. The problem is in thinking we need procedures, products, and knock off Bottega Veneta sandals to be beautiful. [Speaking from years of experience] The problem is when we have debilitating anxiety about not wearing makeup or someone posting a bad picture of us on Instagram. The problem is thinking we need filler, Botox, or extensions to be beautiful, and if we don’t get those things, we think we are ugly and will obsess over those “flaws” until we take care of them. The problem is letting the way we look, and taking perfect shots of our cute outfit for our next post, drive the direction of our lives. The problem is being a slave to how your face and or body look. Satan doesn’t even have to try that hard to derail us when those things take over our priorities, self worth, and life’s destiny, we are doing the work for him!
Your identity is in Christ [Romans 6:7-11; 1 John 5:1].
Your value is in Christ [Matthew 10:29-31].
God made you wonderfully [Psalm 139:14] .
Choosing to invest in the beauty of your spirit is what is going to help enhance your beauty.
Let’s be really honest, you’re probably going to get old. If we live long enough, we are all going to get old. No matter how much preventative Botox you get, no matter how many chin lifts you have, no matter how many face masks you do, if you live a long life you will get wrinkles, your hair will probably gray, and your skin will sag. That’s how life is. It’ll happen. And that's not to say that elderly people aren’t beautiful, but the things you’re letting control your mind, schedule, and finances are going to change with time. And I know someone is reading this thinking , “Yeah I’m going to get old, so I should spend my time looking hot now! If I’m going to get wrinkles I should take all the photos of my beautiful collagen while I still have it!” And let me say, you do you honey bunch! Take photos, admire what beauty God has given you if that's what you want to do! You are your own woman with your own life. But if you let it drive your whole life, then your mind, your thoughts, your quality of life, and the beauty of your spirit will suffer. You will become a slave to a thing that has no eternal weight or value. When the gray hair and wrinkles come, there won’t be a beauty of your spirit.
The choices you make now, the things you practice each day, will change the course of your life, good or bad. If you are creating habits to invest in God’s calling on your life and the unfading beauty of your spirit, then you are setting up your future self to do the same. Likewise, if you are focusing only on your face and your waistline, you are making decisions to set up your future that way. Don’t get me wrong, you can break those habits. I was deep into obsession with vanity, and it took years, actual years, to break those deep habits. I did it by God’s strength and the guidance of the Holy Spirit alone, and sometimes I still struggle, but I wasted years of my life spending all of my time and thoughts worrying about how many people actually liked my Instagram photo and thought my glow up was good.
Let’s take a second to dig into 1 Peter 3:4: “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God...”
In context, Peter was writing to Christians who were all around Pontus, Galatia, Asia, Bithynia, and Cappadocia, which were regions of what was then Asia Minor [now Turkey]. In 1 Peter 3, Peter addresses women and directs them to lead people to Christ with their conduct and actions instead of sexually seducing/manipulating people with their sexuality or appearance into doing what they want. The last part of that verse is applicable to wives, "and [they] accepted the authority of their husbands." I read the word quiet and thought “oh boy, it all goes down here" because I might be gentle, but I am definitely not quiet. But it’s important to understand the etymology of the word “quiet” in this passage.
1 Peter is written in Greek, and the Greek word used in this passage is “ἡσύχιος” [“hēsýxios”]. HELPS Word Studies explains the definition as
"("calmly quiet") describes being "appropriately tranquil" by not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).”
This word is used twice in the Bible. The other place it is used is 1 Timothy
2:1-2 “I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.”
We can see in these passages that “quiet” doesn’t mean a woman who keeps her mouth shut and is audibly not loud. This is a woman who is “not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).”
A woman who isn’t tearing down others, isn’t stirring up needless conflict, and is keeping away from starting destructive commotions.
That means you can be a godly woman with a voice, an opinion, and it’s okay if you talk loud [truly great news for me, halleluiah Lord Jesus].
So, if we understand this, we can understand that investing in your spiritual beauty means investing time, thoughts, and energy into becoming a woman who does not start fights, refrains from gossip, steers clear from nonsensical drama, and doesn’t stir the pot for no reason. Not only should we stay away from those toxic behaviors, investing in the beauty of our spirit means becoming the antonym of that.
We have to also invest into being women who
who:
- love God above all else,
- Matthew 22:37• Luke 10:41-42
- love others,
- Romans 12:9-13
- John 13:34
- Ephesians 4:2
- 1 John 4:21
- lift others up,
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11
- Hebrews 10:24
- 2 Corinthians 13:11
- are kind,
- Ephesians 4:32
- Colossians 3:12
- Proverbs 11:17
- Proverbs 31:26
- speak words of life into others,
- Proverbs 10:11
- Proverbs 10:20
- Proverbs 10:32
- Psalm 19:14
- Proverbs 31:8-9
- use our precious time to plan, create, invent, and think,
- Proverbs 31:13-24
- engage in the ministry God calls us to [your individual, God-given calling, i.e building relationships to share the gospel at work, motherhood, your ministry organization, investing in the lives of others to share Jesus’s love, etc.],
- Luke 8:2-3
- Romans 12:6-8
- are good friends
- James 1:19
- Titus 2:3-5
- are good wives [if God calls us to marriage]
- Proverbs 31:10-12
- Proverbs 31:25-31
- 1 Timothy 3:11
- 1 Peter 3:5
- pray
- Ephesians 6:18
- Philippians 4:6
- James 5:16
- seek God’s Word
- Psalm 119:11
- Psalm 119:130
- Psalm 119:133
- Psalm 119:163
- Seek wisdom
- Proverbs 1:7
- Proverbs 2:4
- Proverbs 4:5
- Proverbs 8:11
- Proverbs 12:15
- James 1:5
And that's not even the full list! God's Word is chalked full of ways to be a woman of Him, a woman of beauty.
This was one of the best pieces of wisdom I received from someone: “no one is up at night thinking about you and checking your Instagram”. It definitely stung and I cried in my car in the parking lot after I heard that, but it was so freeing and so true! Girl, no one is zooming in on your forehead to check your wrinkles, no one is up at 1am searching through your grid to save all of the bad pictures of you, no one is obsessed with you like you might be obsessed with yourself. If you’re a former bachelorette contestant, Kardashian, or the start of a Disney Channel show and they are, then please understand that those people are so broken, hurt, and obsessed with their own insecurities that they are spending their valuable time trying to point out any flaw you have to make themselves hurt less.
I spend a lot of time [way too much time, don’t look at how many pins are on my Pinterest account] researching beauty treatments, skin products, and the perfect skin routines. Every morning and night I do my skin care: cleanse, tone, apply serums, moisturize, put on eye cream, etc. I have invested [way too] many days of my life into this, and so very often I forget to seriously invest in the beauty regimen of my spirit.
We have to research God’s Word, consult Him often in prayer, like our spiritual esthetician [don’t quote me on that it’s a very loose theological term here], and apply his Words many times daily to our lives.
Do not derail God’s destiny for your life or miss out on precious time to be spent beautifying your spirit by making your appearance your value. Your selfies, filler, and really pretty hair do not define your life. God gives you your value, your identity, and your beauty. Invest in that and live your life to the fullest.
Be so encouraged! You are probably going to get old, your physical appearance will change, but the beauty of your spirit will not if you take time to invest in it with God, the creator of beauty and all things.
This was one of the best pieces of wisdom I received from someone: “no one is up at night thinking about you and checking your Instagram”. It definitely stung and I cried in my car in the parking lot after I heard that, but it was so freeing and so true! Girl, no one is zooming in on your forehead to check your wrinkles, no one is up at 1am searching through your grid to save all of the bad pictures of you, no one is obsessed with you like you might be obsessed with yourself. If you’re a former bachelorette contestant, Kardashian, or the start of a Disney Channel show and they are, then please understand that those people are so broken, hurt, and obsessed with their own insecurities that they are spending their valuable time trying to point out any flaw you have to make themselves hurt less.
I spend a lot of time [way too much time, don’t look at how many pins are on my Pinterest account] researching beauty treatments, skin products, and the perfect skin routines. Every morning and night I do my skin care: cleanse, tone, apply serums, moisturize, put on eye cream, etc. I have invested [way too] many days of my life into this, and so very often I forget to seriously invest in the beauty regimen of my spirit.
We have to research God’s Word, consult Him often in prayer, like our spiritual esthetician [don’t quote me on that it’s a very loose theological term here], and apply his Words many times daily to our lives.
Do not derail God’s destiny for your life or miss out on precious time to be spent beautifying your spirit by making your appearance your value. Your selfies, filler, and really pretty hair do not define your life. God gives you your value, your identity, and your beauty. Invest in that and live your life to the fullest.
Be so encouraged! You are probably going to get old, your physical appearance will change, but the beauty of your spirit will not if you take time to invest in it with God, the creator of beauty and all things.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."
Proverbs 31:30-31
If you’ve been tuning into this season of the Bachelor, or caught any of the clips, you’ve gotten a taste of the extreme mean girl culture that’s taken over the house where the contestants are currently living together.
If you’re completely new to the Bachelor reality television series, here’s the basics: an eligible young bachelor is picked to be whisked away and have 25+ beautiful women leave their lives to vie for his heart and ultimately a proposal. The goal of the show is for the bachelor to find his wife. During the coarse of show, the women can have no cell phones, internet access, or access to the outside world. Each week the women go on dates and bachelor symbolically gives the women he chooses to keep dating a rose. Whoever does not receive a rose is sent home. This continues week after week until he eventually is left with the woman he chooses to propose to. This season, Matt James is the bachelor, and his group consists of 32 women competing with everything they have to win him over.
Just hearing the synopsis of this series makes you understand why there would be tension; 30 or so women date the same guy, are egged on by producers, are forced to live with one another, and have no outside contact with the world. Obviously this would create drama, which is why this is part of a hit franchise. However, this season has been particularly terrible in the bullying department.
Here’s the thing: trash talking bullies is simply continuing the cycle of bullying and treating people poorly. If we bully the women who are being bullies, we become the thing we hate. For that reason, there’s no need to name names or be super specific, but if you tune into to an episode or two you will catch on quickly.
Here’s a brief overview of what’s happened in the bullying department this season: a woman in the house said she heard rumors that another woman was an escort. When the woman accused of being an escort explained to the group that this was in fact not true, she was told “okay, then get out of the house”. Another woman has consistently called other contestants “disgusting”. After one woman made other contestants upset for interrupting their group date, she was told that “her life would be hell” in the house because of her actions. When that woman left, someone said “the trash took itself out”, referring to her exit. A woman was called a “ho” to her face because she is a dancer by profession. A woman constantly has referred to other women she dislikes as "fu***** losers". This is the tip of the iceberg.
So why is this bullying culture accepted?
The simple answer is that we watch drama. Drama sells, drama makes money, drama makes 19+ year franchises that take in millions. This television show is specially created to foster dramatic interactions. However, there’s a clear difference between the natural tensions that arise when a group of women are dating the same person and the intentional destruction and disrespect we have seen on season 25 of this series.
Luckily, after being tipped off by a contestant who was tired of the cruel behaviors happening amongst the group, Matt addressed the bullying head on. In episode 5 of this season, Matt talked to his contestants about unacceptable behavior going on. He took two women aside, who had been accused of severely mistreating others in the house, and condemned their bullying directly, eventually sending them both home.
So what can we do practically to stop this extreme mean girl culture from existing in our world?
[I generally don’t believe in giving prescriptive advice anymore, unless explicitly asked, because it can get messy and legalistic very quickly. The only thing that will be genuinely helpful is sharing what the Word of God says, and as much as I can share with you, I highly encourage you to pray and search the word of God for yourself and pray for your own convictions from Him.]
First, let’s take bullying seriously [Psalm 34:12-18; 1 John 2:9; 3:15] We can’t brush off harmful and extremely hurtful behavior as just “entertainment”. Bullying is simply never okay. After looking at some of the “bullies”’ social media accounts, I observed that while many followers continued the cycle of bullying and used their words violently, many were quick to brush off the cruel actions as “harmless fun” or said things like, “you’re the reason this whole season is entertaining”. We can see that neither of those things are helpful.
Second, we can use and give others the real solution. Real problems will never be solved with mean comments on someone’s Instagram selfie. Someone’s heart will not be transformed by your message about their Facebook story. We can’t combat bullying with bullying. We also can’t encourage or diminish the damage done by someone and tell them it’s no big deal. Hurting someone with words, especially on national television to forever be archived, is serious and needs to be treated as such. As followers of Jesus, we know that ultimately, when everything is stripped away, Jesus is the only hope for the world. Jesus and the gospel are the only true sources of healing and only real solutions for our problems. Without the gospel, without God and His love, without the eternal promises secured in Jesus, there would be no reason to be kind, to be loving, to try, to hope, to heal. But Jesus gives us hope [Romans 5:1-5]. Jesus teaches us to love [1 John 4:19]. Jesus gives us a new identity [Galatians 2:20]. Jesus is our reason for living and being [Acts 20:24]. We have to remember the real solution to solve any real problems and share it [the gospel] with those who don’t have it.
Third, we can stop the cycle of bullying. We can never control the actions of others, but we can control how we react to them. Our words matter, even when we are talking about people on a reality television show; it matters what we say [Proverbs 15:4; 16:24; 18:4; 21:22; Matthew 12:36]. Our words have real impact and consequence, even if the people we are talking about never hear them [Proverbs 10:19; 18:21; 21:23; Matthew 15:18; James 1:26; 3:5]. Negativity breeds negativity, and trash-talking words attract more of the same. We are instructed by God to treat others with respect and kindness, no matter the circumstances [Matthew 7:12; 5:44; Romans 12:14; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:8; 4:6; James 1:21]. So by just using our words for encouragement, edification, and kindness, we can combat this nasty, mean culture of cruelty. I absolutely know how hard this is. If you're like me, you've probably rehearsed the absolute perfect way to clapback at that mean girl or already written the draft of the text message to show her what's up, but by doing that you become the thing you are trying to stop. By not bullying the bullies, we end the cycle. It seems trivial, but we can pray for those who have chosen cruelty over kindness, knowing that prayer and kindness have a far greater impact than rude comments on Twitter.
Finally, we can equip ourselves to handle conflict wisely. We are called as believers to stand up for the truth and speak it in love [Ephesians 4:15]. If we need to address a conflict [and girl this is the real world, so you know we do] then we do it, do it in love, listen to wisdom [Matthew 18:15-35 gives instruction on confrontation with other believers] and when we are done, we are done [Proverbs 17:19]. We all know it’s not a cute and uncomplicated thing. No one likes conflict. I can’t stand when people try to boil down real, difficult things into a phrase that should be embroidered on a pillow at Hobby Lobby, so don’t get me wrong when I say, there isn’t nothing simple and easy about this. It’s usually always more complicated than it seems, messy, uncomfortable, and difficult. But, the word of God is extremely practical, and does not fail in wisdom, so sometimes we have to humbly jump in, hold the cringe, and to do what we have to do, trusting God and His Word. Sometimes it can be helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor to get unbiased advice or have a safe and completely private space to vent. And, sometimes trusting God with our conflict means we are stress pacing while eating a bag of cheese puffs and praying that God helps us keeps our mouths shut from speaking that toxic negativity.
This is an uphill battle that we will probably battle the rest of our lives, especially as women in a world where women are constantly pitted against one another. But, the good news is we have practical tools to fight the bullying culture on television, and in our everyday lives! Don’t give up! Don’t stop fighting for what you know is right! It will be hard, it won’t be fun, and it will get messy, but be a strong, courageous woman of God who sticks up for the vulnerable and oppressed.
If you’re completely new to the Bachelor reality television series, here’s the basics: an eligible young bachelor is picked to be whisked away and have 25+ beautiful women leave their lives to vie for his heart and ultimately a proposal. The goal of the show is for the bachelor to find his wife. During the coarse of show, the women can have no cell phones, internet access, or access to the outside world. Each week the women go on dates and bachelor symbolically gives the women he chooses to keep dating a rose. Whoever does not receive a rose is sent home. This continues week after week until he eventually is left with the woman he chooses to propose to. This season, Matt James is the bachelor, and his group consists of 32 women competing with everything they have to win him over.
Just hearing the synopsis of this series makes you understand why there would be tension; 30 or so women date the same guy, are egged on by producers, are forced to live with one another, and have no outside contact with the world. Obviously this would create drama, which is why this is part of a hit franchise. However, this season has been particularly terrible in the bullying department.
Here’s the thing: trash talking bullies is simply continuing the cycle of bullying and treating people poorly. If we bully the women who are being bullies, we become the thing we hate. For that reason, there’s no need to name names or be super specific, but if you tune into to an episode or two you will catch on quickly.
Here’s a brief overview of what’s happened in the bullying department this season: a woman in the house said she heard rumors that another woman was an escort. When the woman accused of being an escort explained to the group that this was in fact not true, she was told “okay, then get out of the house”. Another woman has consistently called other contestants “disgusting”. After one woman made other contestants upset for interrupting their group date, she was told that “her life would be hell” in the house because of her actions. When that woman left, someone said “the trash took itself out”, referring to her exit. A woman was called a “ho” to her face because she is a dancer by profession. A woman constantly has referred to other women she dislikes as "fu***** losers". This is the tip of the iceberg.
So why is this bullying culture accepted?
The simple answer is that we watch drama. Drama sells, drama makes money, drama makes 19+ year franchises that take in millions. This television show is specially created to foster dramatic interactions. However, there’s a clear difference between the natural tensions that arise when a group of women are dating the same person and the intentional destruction and disrespect we have seen on season 25 of this series.
Luckily, after being tipped off by a contestant who was tired of the cruel behaviors happening amongst the group, Matt addressed the bullying head on. In episode 5 of this season, Matt talked to his contestants about unacceptable behavior going on. He took two women aside, who had been accused of severely mistreating others in the house, and condemned their bullying directly, eventually sending them both home.
So what can we do practically to stop this extreme mean girl culture from existing in our world?
[I generally don’t believe in giving prescriptive advice anymore, unless explicitly asked, because it can get messy and legalistic very quickly. The only thing that will be genuinely helpful is sharing what the Word of God says, and as much as I can share with you, I highly encourage you to pray and search the word of God for yourself and pray for your own convictions from Him.]
First, let’s take bullying seriously [Psalm 34:12-18; 1 John 2:9; 3:15] We can’t brush off harmful and extremely hurtful behavior as just “entertainment”. Bullying is simply never okay. After looking at some of the “bullies”’ social media accounts, I observed that while many followers continued the cycle of bullying and used their words violently, many were quick to brush off the cruel actions as “harmless fun” or said things like, “you’re the reason this whole season is entertaining”. We can see that neither of those things are helpful.
Second, we can use and give others the real solution. Real problems will never be solved with mean comments on someone’s Instagram selfie. Someone’s heart will not be transformed by your message about their Facebook story. We can’t combat bullying with bullying. We also can’t encourage or diminish the damage done by someone and tell them it’s no big deal. Hurting someone with words, especially on national television to forever be archived, is serious and needs to be treated as such. As followers of Jesus, we know that ultimately, when everything is stripped away, Jesus is the only hope for the world. Jesus and the gospel are the only true sources of healing and only real solutions for our problems. Without the gospel, without God and His love, without the eternal promises secured in Jesus, there would be no reason to be kind, to be loving, to try, to hope, to heal. But Jesus gives us hope [Romans 5:1-5]. Jesus teaches us to love [1 John 4:19]. Jesus gives us a new identity [Galatians 2:20]. Jesus is our reason for living and being [Acts 20:24]. We have to remember the real solution to solve any real problems and share it [the gospel] with those who don’t have it.
Third, we can stop the cycle of bullying. We can never control the actions of others, but we can control how we react to them. Our words matter, even when we are talking about people on a reality television show; it matters what we say [Proverbs 15:4; 16:24; 18:4; 21:22; Matthew 12:36]. Our words have real impact and consequence, even if the people we are talking about never hear them [Proverbs 10:19; 18:21; 21:23; Matthew 15:18; James 1:26; 3:5]. Negativity breeds negativity, and trash-talking words attract more of the same. We are instructed by God to treat others with respect and kindness, no matter the circumstances [Matthew 7:12; 5:44; Romans 12:14; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:8; 4:6; James 1:21]. So by just using our words for encouragement, edification, and kindness, we can combat this nasty, mean culture of cruelty. I absolutely know how hard this is. If you're like me, you've probably rehearsed the absolute perfect way to clapback at that mean girl or already written the draft of the text message to show her what's up, but by doing that you become the thing you are trying to stop. By not bullying the bullies, we end the cycle. It seems trivial, but we can pray for those who have chosen cruelty over kindness, knowing that prayer and kindness have a far greater impact than rude comments on Twitter.
Finally, we can equip ourselves to handle conflict wisely. We are called as believers to stand up for the truth and speak it in love [Ephesians 4:15]. If we need to address a conflict [and girl this is the real world, so you know we do] then we do it, do it in love, listen to wisdom [Matthew 18:15-35 gives instruction on confrontation with other believers] and when we are done, we are done [Proverbs 17:19]. We all know it’s not a cute and uncomplicated thing. No one likes conflict. I can’t stand when people try to boil down real, difficult things into a phrase that should be embroidered on a pillow at Hobby Lobby, so don’t get me wrong when I say, there isn’t nothing simple and easy about this. It’s usually always more complicated than it seems, messy, uncomfortable, and difficult. But, the word of God is extremely practical, and does not fail in wisdom, so sometimes we have to humbly jump in, hold the cringe, and to do what we have to do, trusting God and His Word. Sometimes it can be helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor to get unbiased advice or have a safe and completely private space to vent. And, sometimes trusting God with our conflict means we are stress pacing while eating a bag of cheese puffs and praying that God helps us keeps our mouths shut from speaking that toxic negativity.
This is an uphill battle that we will probably battle the rest of our lives, especially as women in a world where women are constantly pitted against one another. But, the good news is we have practical tools to fight the bullying culture on television, and in our everyday lives! Don’t give up! Don’t stop fighting for what you know is right! It will be hard, it won’t be fun, and it will get messy, but be a strong, courageous woman of God who sticks up for the vulnerable and oppressed.
"Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."
Hebrews 10:24-25
@KyleeLoganArt
